Michaela and I walked out onto the deserted dirt road beside two fields today. We walked until Michaela drifted of to sleep then I parked the stroller on a path in a harvested corn field. She slept and I stared up at the sky and soaked in the sound of the wind.  It was a refreshing to be outside after several days of rain. The path was muddy but the sun was shining bright and warm.

This afternoon I am alone in the house. Michaela is visiting some of her friends and having a grand old time I am sure. When I asked her if she wanted to go she brightened right up and went straight away to find her coat and bring it to me and say “uh uh” as she hoists it up in the air for me to  put on her. Tyler heard the “go” word and I had pity on him and took him a long for the car ride.

My dear Andrew has been sick this past week. He was in Indiana and came down with a bad chest cold. We didn’t go to church yesterday and that was a first since Michaela was born that all three of us were home together on the Sabbath. I hope that Andrew doesn’t have to go back to Indiana this week.

Here are pictures from the past few months that I never got around to posting. Some are from family pictures we took and others are from when we visited my parents in Ohio. Michaela got to visit with her cousins and had the best of times. She is a very social little gal. She is happiest when surrounded by people and most especially little children!

With Great Grandpa

With Cousins Michael and Megan

Michaela getting into Apples to Apples. ;)

This afternoon I thanked God for my weaknesses. The unsightly parts of me, the pains and the problems.  The things that at times threaten to make me miserable.  Pain quickly gets one’s attention. Thank God, He uses it. Sometimes everything else fails to register. These knocks show me, my priorities and they cause me to fall over and realize what I am living for. All the sudden it’s clear  how little I control and how little I am. I see that I am”wretched, poor, blind and naked“.  My hunger for the world’s so called “perfect life” entails no need, no desperation. However, Jesus loves desperate people. Jesus is the God of the hungry, the poor and the longing soul. If I am so full of the world’s “goodness” beauty, fun and riches that I often blindly crave,  I cannot have room in my stomach for the bread of life. The savor of Jesus. Simpler fare doesn’t cut it when we have popularity and comfort in our sights. Jesus said to be a friend with the world is to become the enemy of God. It is only when the world becomes bitter to me that Christ’s words becomes sweet. The church today loathes finding the world sneering at them. Yet this is the only way they will have Christ smiling. This perfect life I wanted these pleasures, riches and cares are very alluring. Now I see why Jesus said it was way too easy for the rich to be lost. The reason why is they have no “need” for a God who asks one to sacrifice popularity and the idolatry of pleasures riches and cares. Riches have a way of wheedling into our hearts and assuring us that we have it all together. We have it all in the bank they whisper we are safe and have the future handled. God weeps over much of the West because we are so “rich”. We have no need for help, for dependence. We need each and every weakness we have to remind us that this world IS not our rest. This isn’t our home and we shouldn’t make our aim to be “perfect” in the world’s opinion. We are striving for something above and beyond this world’s call.

Thank God when He shows us just how weak and full of problems our lives are. At this point we begin to seek Him and seek something beyond a “perfect” comfortable life here on earth. We are called to a higher purpose, we are called to seek to have God’s life live through us. To be conformed to HIS image. It is something utterly beyond us. That is why these weaknesses show us the impossibility of us doing it ourselves.

We despair of our own strength. A very good place to be. Despite what the world would tell you.

Let’s bank on His promises. He will give us the strength we need. But it will never be our own. No boot straps. The spot light deserves to be on only One. God will be glorified.

Thank you Father for such an amazing gift! We love you Michaela! You are a blessing! Now I think I am going to go cry!

It has been a while! We’ve been doing well. Michaela will be one on the twentieth. This time last year I was over due and just about sure she would never be born! She has been learning like crazy these days and growing a ton as well. She has almost 6 teeth but has decided that solid food is for the birds and mostly doesn’t eat solids oh except for blueberries and string cheese. She thinks those are the only types of solid foods that  exist in her book at least. Oh well, do dog biscuits count? Those are another favorite. HA. Nursing is still on par with one of her favorite activities. I am cherishing the moments. Realizing how all to fast they will fly! The other day I was sitting on a friends couch reading to her two sons and kept getting flash backs to high school and college when I would babysit nigh every other week night and then looked over and saw my little toe head and was floored, thinking “I AM A MOTHER—That is MY daughter playing over there!!!” Crazy stuff. What can happen in a year. Though I am convinced you become a mother the instant that you conceive. It is a process of growing though. Sometimes I wonder who is learning more, me or Michaela!

Michaela understands most all of what we say these days it seems. I ask her to bring me her shoes and off she goes on a hunt for her shoes. Same with her doll,  socks and other items. She loves bringing me books and then plopping down in my lap to do a speed reading of the book. She gets frustrated if I actually “read” the book to her so I have to go at her pace at least for now. I was watching a preschool and kindergartener this morning and read several books (same ones over and over) to them and was amazed at their patient insistence of reading the same books multiple times. It made me realize also how fun that age will be! I also can’t wait to break out the play doh and art supplies. I have always loved markers you see. Okay, so I can’t wait to relive my child hood. The secrets out now. But seriously how fun is that going to be?!

We have been spending a lot more time with children who are older than Michaela of late. In fact in the past 3 days we have spent almost the entire day with older children around. Michaela loves it. She shrieks whenever she realizes she is going to be playing with kids. It is too cute to see her expressions and the way she interacts. She is also having to learn how to share. The only child syndrome is  a thing to be reckoned with!

Oh and because everyone is probably wondering why I titled this post with “Stick-um” it is because it is one of Michaela’s favorite words to say. We have never figured out why. But she goes through some days saying it more times than I care to count. Wonder what her next favorite “word” will be. She goes in phases it used to be Tyler, doggie, dada and tickle, now stick-um.  She will point her finger at you and without so much as a smile but with a determined look stare you down and say “stick-um!!” Too bad she won’t add “up” to the end!

Speaking of things beyond Michaela, tonight the house is eerily silent and clean. It’s raining outside and I miss Andrew. I miss cooking him his favorite meal and sitting on the couch reading books beside each other then laughing together till my ribs hurt. With him, I can just be completely and simply me and I can laugh harder than I thought possible. I think I appreciate him even more now that he isn’t home as much as before. I am learning that God’s seasons are something we can trust Him in. Even the ones that we spend months concerned over. I really should remember that He has His hand in them and is going to use them in my life and Andrews. Sometimes I feel like Andrew gets the shorter straw since he doesn’t get as much Michaela time. Unfortunately when I tell Michaela to say goodbye to someone she waves and says “da da”. Not such a positive correlation we see. But, Lord willing, it shall end soon enough!

I will end here to list a few verses that have been resounding in my heart. The whole theme of “redeeming the time, for the days are evil” has been something I have been wrestling with. How that should look in my life and in my heart.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. ¹⁸Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. ¹⁹Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:15

⁵Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. ⁶Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.  Colossians 4:5-6

You have to listen to this! Amazing!

Also for your reading enjoyment: this article. SO GOOD.

I can’t tell you how encouraging John Piper’s materials have been to me. I love their website. It is just hands down the perfect thing to listen to while you wash dishes, do laundry or organize your house. :) Check it out!!

Michaela took her first steps on the 20th, the day she turned 10 months. This past weekend she has started walking more and going a tad farther. She still has to be coaxed to do it but she will especially if you are holding your cell phone out for her to get as bait. That or a cat! It is so sweet to see her toddle around.

In other news…my dear husband has finally convinced me to start reading one of his favorite books by CS Lewis, Perelandra. I am enjoying it a lot.  He is reading That Hideous Strength right now and I think I will read that one next as it is next in Lewis’ space trilogy.  Ah nothing better than a good work of fiction by Lewis.

This week I also got 5 lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight.  I am the type that holds on to every last ounce when breast feeding so I am not sure how long it will take to get the last 5 off or if they won’t come off till she weans which will be never if you ask her. So this might  be where I stay for a while. It was funny when I mentioned how excited I was  to Andrew he said he didn’t even know I was trying to lose weight and hadn’t noticed I had. ;)

And with that I shall leave you as I need to go find out what Michaela is doing in the room with the fax machine. I think this could potentially be bad news. HA.

I just started reading this. It is excellent. Here’s an expert from the chapter on Acceptance.

“There being no cause in the creature why grace should be shown, the creature must be brought off from trying to give cause to God for His care.” “He has been accepted in Christ, who is his standing!” “He is not on probation.” “As to his life past, it does not exist before God: he died at the cross, and Christ is his Life” “Grace, once bestowed, is not withdraws: for God knew all the human exigencies beforehand: His action was independent of them, not dependent upon them.”

“To believe, and to consent to be loved while unworthy, is the great secret.”

“To refuse to make ‘resolutions’ and ‘vows’; for that is to trust in the flesh.”

“To expect to be blessed, though realizing more and more lack of worth.”

“To rely on God’s chastening (child training) hand as a mark of His kindness.”

“To ‘hope to be better’ (hence acceptable) is to fail to see yourself in Christ only.”

“To be disappointed with yourself is to have believed in yourself.”

“To be discouraged is unbelief — as to God’s purpose and plan of blessing for you.”

To be proud, is to be blind! For we have no standing before God, in ourselves.”

“The lack of Divine blessing, therefore, comes from unbelief, and not from failure of devotion.”

“To preach devotion first, and blessing second, is to reverse God’s order, and preach law, not grace. The Law made man’s blessing depend on devotion; Grace confers undeserved, unconditional blessing: our devotion may follow, but does not always do so — in proper measure.”

A full arch double rainbow!

A newborn child has to cry, for only in this way will his lungs expand. A doctor once told me of a child who could not breathe when it was born. In order to make it breathe the doctor gave it a slight blow. The mother must have thought the doctor cruel. But he was really doing the kindest thing possible. As with newborn children the lungs are contracted, so are our spiritual lungs. But through suffering God strikes us in love. Then our lungs expand and we can breathe and pray. –Sadhu Sundar Singh

If thou art willing to suffer no adversity, how wilt thou be the friend of Christ? –Thomas à Kempis

As cold as everything looks in winter, the sun has not forsaken us. He has only drawn away for a little, for good reasons, one of which is that we may learn that we cannot do without him. –George MacDonald

I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But be brave! I have defeated the world! John 16:33

What a merciful Father we have, who gives us what we need. Even the bitter medicine. He loves us too much to let us alone. Lord, never leave us to ourselves. Grant that we might learn to walk in Christ’s perseverance. May our hearts seek you and live. Truly live.

This weekend was gorgeous. We had 75 degree weather in AUGUST!

Hypnobabies is having a MP3 script giveaway. Check it out here. If you are pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant I would highly reccomend using Hypnobabies. It was the most relaxing part of my pregnancy. It also allowed me to stay positive when thinking about birth, stay relaxed during contractions during Michaela’s birth. I still use the tracks when I need to get a power nap/rest in. The tracks are super relaxing.

Sensible Living

is having an EC starter kit blog Giveaway. Enter here.

Have I ever mentioned EC is wonderful? Well, there I have said it. Say good bye to rashes and say hello to a happy baby and a lot less dirty diapers! : ) What more could you want?

Something I struggle with.

Another reccomendation. Excellent article.

Here is a good series on preventing/helping post partum depression. I found her ideas to be quite practical and helpful…whether or not someone has full blown PPD or not.

Here’s an exerpt…

You’ll need help.

It’s easy to think about how romantic the first few weeks after the baby’s birth will be, when your cozy little family will be working things out. And it’s true that it might be like that. Some people have a pretty smooth postpartum period. But it’s also a possibility that you’ll be either a little or a lot overwhelmed, the three of you, with odd sleeping schedules and engorgement and sore nipples and poop all over and dirty laundry and crying (all three of you) and friends demanding pictures and thank-you notes and it’s-8-o’clock-what-are-we-having-for-dinner? and you’re all just so tired. And it would be really helpful to have someone there who could fix you some food or take out the trash or even just smooth your hair and tell you you’re doing a good job.

The series was a re-hash of exactly what I have learned the past 9 months! I wish I had this list um say about 9 months ago though. But if you know a new mama or an expectant one…well, give her a heads up! Also this would be a great series for dad’s to read so that they would know concrete ways to help. Because, wow, those new mom hormones and the utter shock of a little one who is nigh your sole responsibility. It can be quit a change from one’s previous life. It takes a lot of adjustment.  My 3 words of advice are:

1. Avoid stress in any form as much as possible those first few weeks months–I.E. Don’t stress over things!

2. Exercise as soon as you are healed from birth. This helps so much with mood and energy.

3.  Do sleep when baby sleeps when you need it, but make sure you get OUT of the house at least every other day.

Oh and one thing that I loved was that she mentioned a study done which said that 20 minutes of daily massage from your partner treated PPD as effectively as medication. Uh, wow, whoever did that study is a genius. Please note, I am not at all against medication for PPD. I just think that one should exhaust other easier fixes first such as b vitamin and magnesium supplementation, massage, support, counseling etc. before going on to something as powerful as medication.

So what are things that helped you?