26 weeks

Happy 4th of July from Australia. (Yes, it is Friday morning here!)

This is a first for spending my 4th in a motel in Australia by myself! I think we are going to have to re-celebrate it once we get back.

 

Oh and please pray that Andrew doesn’t have to go back to Australia in a month or two for this job. He really is too busy with work at home to go back, not to mention I would miss him terribly if he had to go back–no doubt they would extend that visit. The manager of the plant here keeps extending things on the start up (past what Northwind signed up for in the beginning.) Andrew came home quite bummed last night. After informing me of this news I promptly explained that he couldn’t leave after September because I will be 37 weeks by mid September and who knows this baby might come a bit early!

Ouch

The heart burn has arrived.

 

Oh and tomorrow is our last week in the 2ed trimester! I must say the baby’s activity level has gone up considerably the past few days. Baby is packing some good punches nearly every hour and especially loves to wake me up early in the morning. I told Andrew sleepily this morning—I think we just might have a morning baby! Eek. I like my mornings to dawn a little slower…this baby’s mantra is “GOOD MORNING!” Time to GET UP–Oh and get me some brekky pronto! I guess this is good motherhood training.

Oh and I have been thinking back to my first trimester days and have firmly decided that the only way I survived it was by SLEEPING and sleeping and sleeping. That was my only escape for the weird cocktail of hormones bursting through my veins making me constantly queasy. The second trimester has been so wonderful–I couldn’t believe how good I felt. Now with one week down till the third I guess I should be getting a minor complaint to ground me back to reality of life. Oh and heart burn may mean we have a baby with hair. At least that is what some studies say.

Hodge podge post

This article by Andree Seu is such a good reminder. This one really made me think about “happiness”. It wasn’t so much that I did or did not agree with the studies conclusions it made me mull on the purpose of life and the wisdom that comes from not seeking instant gratification. I especially liked the comments that people made after the article. Good discussion.

 

In other news the past 2 days I have been researching cloth diapering and it is so hard to decide on diaper covers. There are so many out there. It dawned on me today while researching diapers that cloth is going to be simpler in the long run for our house hold because we live in the country where no one picks up our trash. We have to take our trash to the city on Saturdays before 7am in order to get it picked up. That is if we make it. Often we have several trash bags sitting in our basement because we haven’t made it to the drop of in a few weeks. Yes–not fun. Therefore I try my hardest to recycle everything recyclable and reduce the amount of trash we produce from necessity and convenience even. The thing is if we were using disposables we would have stinky diapers sitting in our basement. YUCK. We don’t have a garage so there isn’t any other place for them. I have decided that doing laundry every 2 days is much preferable as the smell will be much nicer in our house. I know there are plenty of other good reasons to use cloth and we made the decision based on other ones but I guess this is one that really motivates me in an asthetic way. We shall see! Anyways aren’t these baby’s ADORABLE in cloth?!!

I am so tempted to buy one of each when I know that is wayout of the options. Hehee! Now if I can only decide on which ones!

Native Australians…

We visited Featherdale Park Saturday afternoon. We enjoyed loving on the kangaroos and koalas especially. We refrained from going too close to the world’s most venomous snake as well as the salt water crocodile. It was a fun afternoon of walking and more walking. We celebrated our 6 month anniversary that evening having dinner at an Indian place and walking some more at a huge mall in a Sydney suburb. 

 

 

Wombat got a friendly pat. We were amazed at how friendly the animals were. (The ones that were running free that is!)

Week 25

I am halfway around the world and all I can think about is mopping my kitchen floor. Yeah that’s a first!

Can someone say nesting?!

I have had to start rationing my prenatal vitamins as I didn’t pack enough for 6 weeks. I am down to half a dose now I hope it lasts the rest of the time. I am using NOW Prenatals . I would recommend them to any pregnant moms. I have had a lot of energy since starting them a couple of months ago and they are quite complete as far as calcium, magnesium and iron. I used a few other brands but kept finding that most of them weren’t complete as far as those 3 minerals. Often they would only have like 10-20 percent of the calcium you need and even less magnesium. I don’t drink milk so I definitely wanted to make sure my prenatal had 100% of it. Plus they use Beta Carotene instead of vitamin A. Excessive quantities of vit. A can cause birth defects. Amazingly there are still plenty of prenatals that contain Vit. A.

Here are the newest developments for Little One.

 25 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 23 weeks)

Your little grower’s physical proportions are evening out at this point and most of their remaining development will largely be weight gain and lots and lots of nervous system development. The good news is: if your child is born premature now they’ll be more likely to survive without too much trauma as their lungs began to produce “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day. Yes, now’s a good time for a minor sigh of relief and a quick pat on the back. All that hard work and conscientious living is really getting your child prepared for a healthy delivery. Keep up the fabulous work mama! This week they’ll be scootching slowly out of the old breech position and start rotating (already!) into a better position for exit during their birth. Their head and feet are slowly rotating so that the head is pointed down towards the birth canal. Time is short (or really long, depending on who you ask)—just (still!) 14 weeks left before you can go back to being a single-resident human.

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• The unborn child is 34 cm in length and weighs almost 690 grams.
• Baby is around 13.5 inches in length and weighs 1 and half pounds.
• Bones are becoming solid, hands are now fully developed.
• The brain is growing rapidly, the brain cells are starting to mature.

Baby is now pretty well built portion wise even though it still has little body fat and its skin is thin. The structures of the spine begin to form — All 33 rings, 150 joints and 1000 ligaments. The tiny brain is growing rapidly, and the baby is starting to fill the space in your uterus. The uterus is now about the size of a soccer ball and mom looks pregnant.

Your baby’s hands are now fully developed, although some of the nerve connections to the hands have a long way to go. Dexterity is improving. Your baby can make a fist and clasp objects placed in palm. Exploring the structures inside your uterus may have become baby’s prime entertainment. Fascinated by the amount of tactile stimulation a fetus gives itself; it touches a hand to the face, one hand to the other hand, clasps its feet, touches its foot to its leg, its hand to its umbilical cord. Twins will explore each other and begin their bonding.
See: Twins 3D sonagram movie.

Blood vessels of the lungs develop. Your baby’s nostrils begin to open. The nerves around the mouth and lip area are showing more sensitivity now. Their swallowing reflexes are developing. Baby can hear sounds outside the womb and the brain cells are starting to mature also. Already it can learn and remember and can recognise its mother and fathers voice.

A bulleted list. Yes.

1. My homesickness is acute. I am trying to remember I will probably never be back here again so I should at least try to enjoy the last 2 weeks or so! I am enjoying the weekends. It is the day time alone that I am looking forward to ending soon. I nearly die with anticipation waiting to pounce on Andrew for any bit of conversation I can get out of him. Poor guy. He just wants an hour to unwind reading the news occasionally and I want an hour of conversation to wind up. I guess this is my solitude time before our baby arrives and that is no longer available in unlimited quantities.

2. I am housing a kicker of a baby and loving it. This baby is nocturnal also. I am wondering how the time zone change might affect things.

3. It’s official: July 10th we leave for home.

4. We arrive in Kansas July 10th around 5pm (barring delays which are practically inevitable) after somewhere nearing 40 hours of travel. Yes time changes are weird things.

5. I can’t wait to have a family dinner with all of my family in Kansas! 

6. I can’t wait to talk to Amelia, Rachel, Christine and Andrea on the phone again. And actually go out for lunch with Rachel and Amelia at some point. Rachel I haven’t seen you or baby Abby in forever!

7. I can hardly contain my excitement over going to my week 27 midwife appointment! My last appointment was week 17! Time flies–we have 3 months left till Little One arrives. I can’t wait to see how much this baby has grown.

8. (The long one) I am so bummed out about missing my dear cousin Matt’s wedding! I am super close to Matt-we practically grew up and went to college together! I will miss seeing my beloved Grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, my parents,  brother, sister in law, nephew, niece and a whole host of college friends I haven’t seen in since my internship last year. For the record I am not complaining–I am being a realist and trying to get my head around the facts before it happens so I am not traumatized looking at the pictures after the fact realizing what I missed. For the record Andrew offered to have me leave Australia early but traveling around the world while 6 months pregnant by myself and then driving from KS to PA jet lagged and by myselfwasn’t going to happen because things like that make me hyperventilate. Maybe I am starting to depend a little too much on my engineering minded easily map oriented husband and navigator. After all I did live in Pittsburgh for a while and handled getting lost on a regular schedule in bad parts of town nearing mid night. I survived it and actually do like the city of Pittsburgh. Philadelphia is a whole nother story I will spare you except to say “never again, never again!” If someone asks you to drive in the inner city of Philadelphia for a week: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

9. In other news I am feeling super hyper and so is this baby. What did I put in my oatmeal this morning?!

10. I can’t wait till I can drink coffee and eat sashimi again. I love pregnancy and it is so worth it. But saying you can’t have it makes you want it.  I have been having cravings this week for coffee and homemade cheesecake. I haven’t had it in so long. I think maybe the baby is saying more dairy more dairy-why’d you stop eating yogurt?!

11. Oh, to all who expected post cards…I am truly sorry there was an unfortunate event that took place 3 Saturdays ago in which nearly all of the Australian money we had was mysteriously lost along with Andrew’s primary credit card. Yikes I know–I went through that earlier, believe me. Well we are using another credit card but have yet to actually visit any stores that contain postcards and actually take his credit card. So that is why they are so so so very late. My apologies.

Home

I miss Kansas.

I think that means it is officially home.

Coming on 4

We are coming on 4 weeks we have been in Australia. I am so thankful to report that I healed up on Saturday and was able to visit and sight see with a family from the church we are attending. We enjoyed spending the the afternoon together, walking around a few parks in the suburbs of Sydney. Dennis is the pastor of the church we attend and also worked some in India with his wife Elizabeth who is a middle school teacher. Elizabeth shared wonderful advice with me about raising children and told me to enjoy every stage and realize how quickly it will pass and also to remember how much impact your work has on the child and to focus on relaxing, loving and creating a nurturing enviroment. What wise advice from a mother of four grown children. Their youngest lives at home and is studying law all the others are married. On a random note did you know that voting is compulsorary in Australia? That’s what you find out when you actually talk to the locals. I guess the fines are pretty hefty too if you somehow ‘forget’. Also the population of Australia is SMALL around 20 million. That is tiny tiny tiny for the amount of land in Australia. The Australian government is even giving out money annually for each child born. Since that law was passed their was a substantial baby boom. It is stressing out the midwives, health care systems (which are all government funded–think Canada! Gasp Australians ask me about what it is like to pay for my health care.) as well as the teachers and day care workers. The government over here is finding that it has rising problems with it’s health care systems as a lot of people can’t get a bed in the hospital because of “lack of funding”. Oh another thing on money…Guess how much “petrol” (gas) costs over here?! It is inching up close to 7 dollars a gallon! Gulp.

On Sunday we visited with another family from the church at their home in the Blue Mountains of New South Wales. Here are a few pictures from our visit with them as well as my 24 week belly picture.

Wouldn’t you love to have a grove of these in your back yard? This family had 3 different varieties growing in their back yard. Along with a bird feeder that regularly attracts 5 different kinds of parrots. We only saw 3 over our visit. I loved the red and green ones but the white Cockatoo was beautiful also. I didn’t get a good picture though. They ate their lunch at the feeder right in front of the table we ate our lunch on!  Oh, let me tell you fresh picked tangerines mmmm….

The view from a lookout in the Blue Mountains. You could see Sydney’s skyscrapers in the distance but my handy yet novice-esque camera can’t quite capture that.

A Wattle Bush. There are the most unique plants, birds and trees over here. I love the trees! They definitely make me realize I am no longer in Kansas! The majority I see are varieties of palms, Eucalyptus and gum

I love those trees!

The Little One’s home, convienently growing right along with her/him. I think I really popped this week. Full of Little One is another way to put it…Yet with about 15 weeks to go, the stretch must go on!

Hmm

I should have known I was getting sick I never take 4 hour long naps, like I did yesterday, unless I am. Pleurisy makes you not want to breathe and also makes your entire body ache. Not a fun combination. It also makes you want to take naps that last hours on end. I really hope I am better by the weekend! I have had these kinds of complaints many times before and it just takes a couple of days of low lying and more rest to get over it. The little one seems to be un-phased as it has been kicking up a royal storm the past few days. Getting stronger and stronger.

Update:: Right after I finished writing this post I sat down to do my Hypnobabies Study Course and as I started listening the baby decided to kick up a storm and I looked down and saw the baby kicking through my shirt all over the place! That was the first time I caught the baby in action visibly. Although I am sure it has been strong enough to be seen on the outside for a few weeks now. The baby tends to kick the most at night and I don’t stare at my tummy then and also often kicks me facing my inside therefore it isn’t visible through my belly. Ah I wish Andrew were there to see it. It kept kicking and kicking and kicking and my shirt just kept bobbing. It made me smile. I was so distracted I didn’t do my lesson. I think the baby likes the music and is used to hearing it and maybe is going to start acting up when it hears it. Uh oh…We shall see. Anyways it was enjoyed thoroughly.

Trust

“How happy a person is depends upon the depth of his gratitude.” John Miller

“Once you see your affliction as a preparation to meet God, you won’t be quick to call it suffering again. Even though I have rough moments in my wheelchair, for the most part I consider my paralysis a gift. Just as Jesus exchanged the meaning of the Cross from a symbol of torture to one of hope and salvation, He gives me the grace to do the same with my chair. If a cross can become a blessing, so can a wheelchair. The wheelchair, in a sense, is behind me now. The despair is over. There are now other crosses to bear, other “wheelchairs” in my life to be exchanged into gifts.” Joni Eareckson Tada

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I have been reading this site lately. Full of interesting tips and articles. I like this one a lot. What a neat way to mentor younger women. Her articles cover a whole host of subjects and are very honest and helpful. Her site also makes me so eager to get home and start trying new recipes and cooking again. I miss that even though it is nice to have a “date night” out just about every evening with Andrew! I won’t complain about that.

 Oh and tomorrow [Thursday for all you who are in Australia at least] will be the beginning of our third week in Australia! That means we will be roughly half done. I miss a lot of people back home. I am becoming increasingly thankful for email and Skye phones. I have been able to stay relatively connected to my family in Ohio. It doesn’t even seem like I am communicating less because I have become used to a long distance relationship with them. I still can’t wait to see them in August though when they visit. That will be special. You should see the pictures of the clothes, jogging stroller and other baby items my mom has found at garage sales. She keeps sending me pictures. We already have [not at our house yet--my parents come in August] a stroller, a lot of clothes, crib, changing table, pack and play [thanks Hilary], diaper pail, lightly used car seat and sling all from garage sales and family. The only things I can think of that we will be investing in at least for the first year is a convertable car seat for when the baby is bigger and a supply of cloth nappies! What a blessing. I still have to decide on those. I think I have narrowed it down to Chinese prefolds and either Bummis Whisper wraps or Pro wraps. I think I will try both and see which works best for us.

Suffering

A plan of action:

• Expect suffering. Realize that in a fallen world suffering is the abnormal normality (see 1 Pet. 2:12-14).
• Realize that God in control; nothing can happen unless He allows it. We should be humble before Him (see Ex. 4:11; Job 40:2; Provide. 6:4; Isa. 45:7; Jer. 49:19; Amos 3:6; Rom. 9:20-23).
• Understand that though God is sovereign and man is responsible for his actions, suffering is a product of the Fall (see II Sam. 12:11; 16:21,22; Acts 4:27,28; Rev. 13:2,7,8).
• Accept the reality that God allows suffering for good and necessary reasons: to prepare us to comfort others (see II Cor. 1:4-6); to teach us to trust in Him and not in ourselves (see 1:9; 4:7,16, 18; 12:1-10); to turn our hearts toward heaven (see 5:1-4); to develop maturity (see James 1:1-12); to discipline us for sinful behavior (see I Cor. 11:30); and to judge wickedness (see Ps. 37:12,13).
• Remember that God has entered into our suffering to redeem us from it. He did this through the death of the Lord Jesus Christ (see Rom. 8:18-23).
• Remember that we do not yet see clearly. We must trust God until answers to suffering are made clear (see Job 13:15; I Cor. 13:12).
• Remember that this life is nothing when compared with eternity. What is a lifetime of suffering in comparison with an eternity of heaven? (see Rom. 8:18).

 

When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, or sickness - when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us. Oswald Chambers

It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud (sorrows and suffering) he brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child - a relationship between God and our own souls and where people are but shadows. Is our relationship to God becoming more simple than it ever has been? Oswald Chambers

This is God’s universal purpose for all Christian suffering - more contentment in God and less satisfaction with self. John Piper

God loves brokenness and weak people. He will share his power, not his glory. Kimber Kauffman.

I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work and my God. Helen Keller

God wants us to lay our burdens on Him and rest in His love. It’s His responsibility to work out the purpose and plan in our hardships. Only our refusal to trust Him….can hinder His purposes in our lives. Joni Eareckson Tada

Child of God, never forget this; all that you are suffering of any sort or kind, comes to you from the divine hand. Charles Spurgeon 

From here.

Bug spray and belly pictures

Someone needs to invent misquito anti venom. If you ever travel to Australia, bring a fly swatter and bug spray and be prepared to die fighting them off. Now on to more pleasant topics.

My Mom sent me this link today. She said this was why the baby was kicking so much. Yes the baby is growing. Check this4D video of a 23 weeker. Last night Andrew and I were laying in bed watching a travel documentary (woohoo) on Tibet, Nepal and Mount Everest while Andrew had his arm around me and felt a huge kick on his elbow. He jumped and said “WOAH”. I was like yeah the baby likes it’s space. Hehee. I moved Andrew’s hand to where the baby was kicking some more and Andrew was kicked over and over and over again. It was so sweet seeing the baby interact with his daddy. I love figuring out where it’s head and hands and feet are position wise. It really gets around in there. It used to favor my left side. Well, not anymore mainly because it is starting to take up a lot more space. It does however like to kick me in my lower pelvis or snuggle way up to my rib cage or lay side ways across my belly and kick one side or the other. Baby’s favorite time to kick as every mother knows is when you are laying down. Strange but true. The baby kicks sometimes when I am standing up and often when I am sitting down but a sure fire way to feel the baby kick is to lay down! Oh and eating citrus fruit also invites kicks, or at least it did last night.

My mom has been asking for belly pictures and since I have been bad about getting them taken as well as posting I finally thought I should do it. So here we go. The same cami I wore when I just found out just for comparison. Thankfully it is really stretchy. I wonder if I will be able to fit it on in 4 months?

I really wish I had pictures of the baby right now. Andrew might well be tired of hearing me say I wish there were a window into the baby’s world. I really would like to see him or her. I am glad we are waiting to find out the gender and that isn’t really the issue but I just want to see our little one! I know though that the time is flying and won’t be long either. So I just look up pictures of preemies and imagine that is what my baby looks like. It is so sad though seeing babies hooked up to oxygen and parents not being able to hold them and nurse them. It is amazing that our bodies are able to nourish babies so well and that all of modern medicine can’t do as good of a job as a woman’s body. God’s design is beyond fabulous. I am glad though that there is help when babies are born too soon. I recently saw a picture of a 25 weeker and it was so precious. Andrew thought it was red and ugly and I was horrified! He tried to defend himself and say that it was “wonderfully created” but couldn’t say that it was beautiful or anything. My maternal instincts are out full swing and I can’t imagine not calling a baby beautiful. Maybe it is good we don’t have a window into my womb–Andrew just might make me go crazy if he described our baby on his terms. I cannot wait though till he holds this little one I am wondering if it just might be a convincing experience.

On a different note, today I knew I was getting old when I said to myself as I stepped out of the shower that when my children grow up I want to become a counselor. I was like woah…wait a sec. isn’t that supposed to be “when I grow up?” Uh, I guess I did grow up. Having children might just do that. Last night Andrew looked at me and said “Can you believe we are going to be parents?” Yeah life comes at you fast. I am so thankful for Andrew. He is such an encouragement and he is so gentle. This is something I could devote an entire post to and I will someday but I just have to say, all my life I knew if there was one quality I desired in a husband and that was gentleness. I am finding more and more each day with Andrew that he has a special gentleness to him. He is tender with people and he has a special tenderness towards me. I appreciate this aspect among others more than I can express. Fathers day is coming up and I hope I can let him know a little bit of how thankful I am for him.
 

Details

My belly is itchy and hungry. Itchy stretching to accommodate this little one and often growling. There is nothing like pregnancy to connect oneself to one’s body. Welcome to week 23 of pregnancy! Well it starts officially tomorrow but hey it’s almost here and this baby is starting to take up space down there. I calculated dates and decided that we won’t be back in the US until I am nearing or in the third trimester! Yikes. That means we are spending the 4th of July in Australia. That will be a bit strange. Midwife appointments will be every 2 weeks then once I get back. Maybe that will make up for the appointments I will be missing while in Australia. Sleeping is becoming an interesting endeavor as when I turn over to go to sleep the baby starts kicking me on whatever side I am sleeping on. I guess s/he doesn’t want to get squished. I do have a tendency to almost lay on my stomach while still technically laying on my side. It is only going to get worse from here on out though.

Today I am happy because the house keeper cleaned our bathroom after I nearly begged her to several times the past 2 days. It had been 2 weeks since it was last cleaned. Ah clean bathroom. That makes me a happy camper. Now if they would only vacuum the floor and not put our pillows on it when they attempt to make the bed. Yuck. There are upsides and downsides to living in a motel for weeks on end. Let’s just say cleanliness is not the upside. At least I like the house keeper she is nice and all, she just doesn’t do things the way I would.

Today I have to do laundry. It costs $14 a load. Which is why Andrew is allowing me to do it “my way” which means everything that isn’t red or going to bleed into the clothes goes in one load. We shall see how the clothes turn out. Too bad we don’t have a bathtub or I bet we’d go primal and hand wash. We have a lot lot lot of laundry and I am wondering if it is even going to fit into the washer. This could be interesting. I also mixed up per Andrew’s request homemade dry laundry detergent on my own without supervision…uh and without exact measurements because you know I love to be creative. So if I end up ruining every pair of underwear and socks we own I might just be in a little trouble. Ahh the adventures of living out of space limited suitcases. Did I mention I didn’t pack enough warm clothes. I knew I would forget something.

Perspective

The past few days God has been pressing on my heart the question of where do I base my significance on. I have mentioned in previous posts that I have been haunted for so long with the lie that people are where it comes from. That means a combination of friends, parents, relatives, church family, even strangers and enemies often. their opinions make the deciding votes on whether my life is worthy. It is a mindset that is illusive and deceiving. A see saw of emotions as the root of how people treat you is based on a whole host of variables. Everyone has complexes, scars, fears, hopes, often abusive pasts, sinful natures, motivations and well each and every human blunders in how they treat others. It is a fact of life. One cannot sustain their self image of of popularity or lack thereof on such shifting tides. It is a recipe for disaster; emotionally. I have never been “popular” in my life with my peers. Not even once. That isn’t an issue of necessarily being a bad or good thing either it has both sides. God must have known this was best for me. He has kept me from some of the snares that popularity can bring. But I cannot say I am immune to the snares that belong to the less popular crowd. I must come to grips with the place and personality God has given me even if I sometimes wish I were a little more “popular”. We have to come back to who God made us and calls us to be. The number of close friends you do or do not have don’t give ones life fulfillment. What equals life fulfillment is living the life God has called you to for Him. Being conformed to HIS image through daily life. Starting to see things and people from HIS perspective rather than my own distorted one. It is a choice to choose joy or slavery to a sinful mindset that makes me unfruitful in my walk with God. As long as my eyes are on myself I am of no use to God’s kingdom. I must start seeing people with Christ’s eyes-His gentleness, forgiveness and not look to friendships as a sign my life is or is not worthy.

While here in Australia, I have picked up a book I started reading a year ago and now am enjoying again by Oswald Chambers. “Conformed to His Image; The Servant as His Lord”  has been again reminding me of the joy, contentment and peace found in Christ’s perspective and life being formed in me. The more His life is manifested in my mind and subsequent living the more freedom and joy is found. We were created to be holy i.e. whole like Christ is. God centered not man centered. However with the introduction of sin, we became overcome with a fear of man and an orientation to think more of his fickle opinion than that of our Creator’s. We no longer live to please and serve the One who Loves us perfectly. Instead we are blinded often and think we must seek man’s love and approval. Thankfully God will not allow His children to live under this faulty mind set. He allows hard things, pain filled things to tear away those idols and fears that are sucking our love and devotion to Him away. He shows us that He alone satisfies our heart. A thought that I have been mulling over the past few days is that we often allow ourselves to be satisfied with happiness instead of striving for joy. Meaning we may have what the world and what our minds tell us makes us “happy” and I certainly do. I am happy. But this happiness based on our circumstances isn’t contentment inducing it is really just a full tummy and a nice house i.e.  our basic human needs being met in a pleasant way. It isn’t spiritually based or based on God. Joy however is something that comes from being in a right [[whole]] relationship with our Creator and in growing in that. If we are stunted spiritually or on the wrong path spirtually we won’t be experiencing the deep joy that can remain with us through the hard times.

Here are a few quotes I have been impressed with:

When I was born again my human nature is not different, it is the same as before; I am related to life in the same way, I have the same bodily organs, but the mainspring is different, and I have to see now that all my members are dominated by the new disposition (see Romans 1:13, 19). There is only one kind of human nature and that is the human nature we have all got, and there is only one kind of holiness and that is the holiness of Jesus Christ. (Chambers, pg. 24)

As long as an individual is self sufficient for himself, God can do nothing for him. Someone may be “paganly” all right, in fact a pagan is a delightful person to know, but he is not at elbows, not troubled or upset, and he cannot understand why you should talk of the need to be born again.

The born again person has been put on the basis of a new  construction of humanity, consequently for a time he is chaotic, disturbed, broken, and at this stage he is not so desirable as the person who represents the climax  of the natural life. Other natural virtues are our deepest inheritance but when teh  miracle of new birth is experienced, the first thing that happens is the corruption of those virtues because they can never come anywhere near what God demands of us. Jesus Christ loved moral beauty (see Mark 10:21), but He never said it would do. The natural virtues are a delight to God because He designed them, they are fine and  noble but behind them is a disposition that may cause a person’s morality to go by the board. What Jesus Christ  does in the new birth is to put in a new disposition that transforms morality into holiness. He came to put into that person who knows he needs it His heredity of holiness, to bring him into a oneness with God that he never had through the natural birth, “That they may be one just as We are” (John 17:22)

(Chambers, pg.25)

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On an unrelated note, yesterday (Monday in Australia) in honor of Andrew’s 28th birthday we went out to Campbelltown a larger town 45 minutes outside of Picton and watched Prince Caspian. I will spare you my review except to say last night I woke up shouting “ANDREW!”Very worked up because I was dreaming that he was sword fighting. We laughed about it in the morning and he knows now that sword fighting won’t win points with me. So just so you know theaters in Australia blast the volume [poor little baby got an earful] and Prince Caspian is filled with sword fighting. One thing I liked about the film is the sound track! Ah gotta listen to Regina Spektor “The Call”. Good song.

Pictures from our weekend

First week

Last Saturday we visited Wolongong’s North Beach. It was a gorgeous sunny day in the 70’s. The rest of the week it has rained. So we were thankful to enjoy the good weather while it lasted.

 Notice what is flying through the air. We saw about 30 total sky divers on our visit!

Lots of rock pools.

There were a fair amount of surfers and swimmers in the ocean. We got our toes wet for good measure.

 

Lots of these. At the beach, in Sydney and outside our motel. It may be winter here but these stick around all year round.

I haven’t gotten a picture of the parrot like birds that flock in front of our motel. But they are probably the coolest looking birds I have seen yet. Oh and we haven’t spotted a snake or roo yet.

More pictures from the beach here.

Well, the first week of 5 [most likely] weeks is over. This week Andrew found out that the plant he is working at is about 2 weeks behind on the project. They should have told Andrew this before we came half way around the world. But Andrew is handling things well. I am being eaten alive by misquitos. I have over 20 bites on my arms, trunk, face, hands and neck and really wish I would have packed some bug repellent. Who knew? The motel has a permanent open screen in the bathroom that lets the pesky little blood suckers in by the hoards. I mainly get eaten alive at night while we sleep. Oh and we have a double bed which is proving to be quite humorous. Andrew is on the side against the cement wall and he keeps bonking his head on it. I hear this bonk and hear this “Uh” several times at night. Oh and I have to wake Andrew up half the time to tell him to move over so I won’t fall out the bed. I think by the time we come back to our queen sized bed it will feel like a king! In between itching myself raw and taking 600 pictures and using up my entire memory card in the first full week here we are enjoying ourselves. Albeit going to bed quite early every day and still rising around 5 am it is working out. Jet lag wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected and I am endlessly thankful to be here withAndrew. On the weekends it feels like a second honeymoon on the weekdays it feels kind a weird. Well, mainly because I am stuck without a car with monsoon like weather conditions without anything to clean and no dinner to cook. Well, I can organize our luggage and bathroom endlessly but that gets pointless after the 5th time in a day. I am enjoying my Hypnobabies child birth class a lot. The CD’sare excellent and I have found that I am quite easily hypnotized. Go figure people with vivid imaginations are easily hypnotized. Andrew laughs at that. I am also “easily entertained” according to Andrew by the BABY—who  is officially kicking me quite unmistakeably now. Yesterday I nearly jumped out of my skin when the little one gave me the hardest kick yet and continued to do so for another half hour. Andrew felt several of them and said that they had definitely gotten a lot stronger. Here’s my theory: this baby is going through a 5 week growing spurt because my protein count since coming to Australia has been uped considerably. Going out to eat every night except Sunday and Monday [Sunday for obvious reason and Monday because nearly every restaurant is closed in Picton] has allowed me to eat ultra spicy beef and chicken to my hearts delight. Mmm. We go to this Thai restaurant nearly every evening and I like to get their Tom Yum Soup with chicken or prawns. They have pretty good sea food down here. Andrew even got calamari the other day. Which he really liked. Well, it was deep fat fried so no wonder but still…this is my Midwest guy talking–that’s impressive.

Australians have some interesting terms for things. Thought I would mention a few common ones:

Telly- television

Breky- Breakfast

Hungry Jack- Burger King

Speed humps- Speed bumps

Overtake- Pass a car

Rubbish- trash

In general the Aussies talk fast and so it is hard to understand everything they say because they have so many different sayings. I only wonder what they think of our American sayings.

Oh and get this they have Aldi’s over here?! They are extremely popular. We went in to pick  up some water and they were packed out. No kidding. Groceries are a lot more expensive over here. And they have some gross as well as good things to offer. Chicken flavored potato chips and vegmiteare on my gross list so far. Along witha cafe called “Hog’s Breath!” Hog’s Breath? I know it sounds awful in my opinion. Andrew just commented that he thinks that manly names appeal to Australians. Apparently Andrew believes that hogs breath is a manly thing. I am just going to say I am thankful he brushes his teath. He thinks that Australia is a manly country. Hey any place withthe amount of poisonous snakes, spiders and paralysis inducing ticks [I kid you not] is probably not the average woman’s dream come true. Thankfully we haven’t come into contact with such wonderful creatures.

We went to a tiny and sweet Australian Presbyterian Church on Sunday and plan on going back the next couple of Lord’s Days. It is in an older suburb of Sydney and is about 45 minutes from Picton. It meets in an old Anglican Church and has get this an out house for the facilities. There were only 8 others there for the service. A few of the families were out of town that day. But the church is small even withthe families there. The sermon was excellent and the singing was good except for the fact that we were singing from a Book of Psalms that had no music on it. Thankfully we knew 2 of the tunes that were used. I felt like I had time traveled in the tiny church as it hadn’t been renovated and reminded me of a stone cottage with a huge drafty ceiling and castle like arched windows. The fellowship after church was sweet also. We all sat around and talked and had very strong Australian tea. Their tea is really good by the way…as long as you don’t leave the bag in for 15 minutes. One of the ladies asked when I was due and that was fun as I am always happy when someone can tell I am pregnant. A little girl piped in–”you’re pregnant? You aren’t that big!” Then I explained I was only 5 months and that later I would get bigger. Well, today we are 22 weeks and that makes us almost 6 months which does not feel possible. The baby weighs a pound now! By far the funniest question asked me concerning my pregnancy was a woman in her 50’s asking me if I was due this October or next! I mean seriously-wow-I am so glad I am not an elephant and humans don’t gestate 2 years plus! This woman must not have had children. Or at the very least she had memories of a very looong feeling pregnancy. Irregardless of gestation I am so excited to become a mother. I have a lot to learn but what an amazing privilege. I have been thinking a lot about this subject while here. It is overwhelming at times. Exciting also.

Well, tomorrow [Saturday if you are in Australia] we are probably heading to Sydney for the day. Which means more pictures will pop up some time next week hopefully and maybe a story or two.

 

Down under

We arrived. After several delayed flights. Last night climbing into a bed felt AMAZING. It had been over 40 hours since we last laid down. We slept fitfully on the flight to Australia. It was a good flight though. The flight attendants were great. Our baby was having a hay day on its first flight. It was kicking more than I have ever felt before. It seemed to enjoy the ride and I was quite entertained for a good portion of the flight with my hands on my tummy feeling the baby communicate its first language. I think everyone around us must have been quite entertained by watching me hold my tummy and say every couple of minutes “Andrew put your hand here- the baby is way up here!” The baby has gotten stronger of late and my uterus has moved up a couple more inches past my belly button. I am definitely getting a belly although at times I wonder when I see people scan by belly–does it register to them I am pregnant or do they think I am forming a pot belly. Well, doesn’t matter either way. Soon it will be unmistakable. This morning Andrew enjoyed feeling the baby jab him. I am starting to feel the kicks internally as well as with my hand. I was just kicked. It is such a funny feeling. Almost like lightly bonking your funny bone on the inside of your belly. I most often feel it down low in my pelvic area or up high almost like the baby is boxing my diaphragm. Gotta love a kick-boxing baby. I love being able to get to know the baby better and better through the interaction. We are 21 weeks today since we are on Australian time and it is already Friday. What is weird is that when we called our parents this morning around 6am it was 5 and 6 pm their time! So weird we ate breakfast while they thought about supper. I can’t believe how fast our bodies are adjusting so far. The sunshine is helping. It is quite sunny and beautiful here.

We got in around 10 AM. Was finished with customs and quarantine screening, “hiring” a rental car and grabbing a quick late [we didn't know what to call it meal] at the airport around 2pm. We hopped in the silver Toyota Corolla and Andrew drove while I sat on “drivers side”. It felt very weird to be driving on the wrong side. It felt like we were going to be hit anytime. One of the first things I noticed about the people here is that they are much more as a general rule friendly than the average person in the US. Apparently Aussies pride themselves on being relaxed and friendly. It was quite apparent every person we met on the way was extremely chatty, relaxed and happy. Giving big smiles and being quite warm. It was helpful especially after feeling quite jet-lagged er jet-ragged I should say. We left and got into Picton around 3:20. Wandered around the hamlet found the job site Andrew will be working at, checked in at our motel and drove around to look for an early meal we called dinner and a grocery store to buy breakfast and lunch materials. The cafe we stopped at was small and family owned located in an old brick building with huge gorgeous arched windows. We sat in the patio area and I felt like I was definitely in Europe. I was thrilled when I read that the menu offered gluten free bread with your sandwich. A definite plus. Andrew had a curried chickpea chicken soup and I had a delicious egg salad and lettuce sandwich. We got back took the most wonderful showers known to man and we went to bed. It was blissful being in a bed I tell you. We both turned in early around 8 but woke up at 3…got back to sleep round 4 and woke up for good at 6. Called both sets of our family using a handy wireless Skype phone. It was fun catching up with everyone. Then we downed an unusual breakfast of Australian oats and 100% Australian “yoghurt.” It was good just different tasting–less sweet tasting which isn’t bad. I found that the small local IGA grocery store here in Pickton was full of natural, organic and no-gluten foods and delicious Australian produce like Australian pink lady apples and organic kiwis. That was nice to see. From what I have read more natural types of foods and organics are much more mainstream here. They have really good 100% Australian cheeses also. Mmm cheese. Edam seems popular here while it is so hard to find in the states. The view from the motel is beautiful. There are a few pictures of the landscape included. More pictures from our first day in Australia are here.

The view of Sydney’s coast from the sky.

Getting there was interesting. Beautiful clouds!

Almost there…

Right before Andrew left for the plant this morning.

Outside the motel.

Goodbye America

We leave in a a few hours. I miss Tyler already. I know trite. Sorry but I have a bond with this dog that I haven’t been able to figure out yet. I miss him TERRIBLY when he is absent. Call it puppy love–that or a pregnant woman high on love hormones. Today I am cleaning, finishing odds and ends packing and trying to scrounge up a lunch for Andrew and I out of the odds and ends food left in our house. I could tell Andrew was thinking about a million things last night. He was so some where else. Note: Andrew is a thinker of the “thinkiest” sorts. He gets in these amazing brain jam sessions that no one can get to him it seems. Quite amazing. He fascinates me. Anways he was extremely distracted with the details and planning and what not last night that I was seriously worried about him–he finally told me not to worry he was just sorting things out. He had called just about every Picton hotel avaliable yesterday in hopes of finding the best deal that possibly might have internet at least in the foyer area of the hotel. We finally found out that the best we could do was a hundred a night at a hotel that did have internet in the reception area. So that might help. We have a Skype phone that calls US numbers. We are going to call family a few times while there which should be good. I wasn’t jumping out of my skin last night with excitement but today it is slowly building. Andrew didn’t want to get up this morning. He put his head under his pillow and tried sleeping through the alarm I wouldn’t let him, merciless wife I am. He finally got up. It is so odd for him to evade the alarm. I think the reality of all the details are starting to mount. Our next hunt is to find Australian money. The bank here doesn’t carry it. We leave for Kansas City airport around three this afternoon.

So farewell America. Next post will be uh somewhere on the other side of the planet.

Halfway there

Life goes by so fast. I can’t believe how fast the pregnancy is going. We are halfway done today. I often end up with cramps in my arm and hand as I keep my hand on my tummy just about all the time to feel the little one–until I am too exhausted to do it anymore and I fall asleep. This morning as I was getting dressed I put my hand on my tummy and felt the little ones heart beat! It was fast, definitely not mine. IT WAS SPECIAL! The baby must have been laying his/her back right across the middle of my uterus. It is clearly growing as now I can feel it on both the R and L sides of my uterus often kicking and squirming on both sides at the same time. According to the official record the baby is the length of a banana at 20 weeks.

Well, packing for Australia starts in earnest tomorrow. I have a pile of things but haven’t narrowed down books, toiletries or clothes yet. I have a feeling for Andrew packing is going to be SO SIMPLE. It is hilarious how simple guys can be when they pack. It makes me a little jealous. Then I remember that yes I could live without makeup, hair dryer, a ton of vitamins, precautionary drugs, lotions, oils, conditioners, and a carefully picked out selection of clothes. I wouldn’t like living without those things for five weeks in a foreign country. So I guess I will just have to be the more complicated one on that issue. Right now the trip doesn’t feel real yet. It will though–the 20 hour trip will feel quite real–quickly. Hopefully I will publish blog posts/emails here and there while we are over there. As mentioned before the hotel doesn’t have internet so we will have to find a cafe or some brown snake infested plant for updates. I am excited. This is going to be an adventure with my best friend and soon to be firstborn.

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On another topic. Please pray for the Chapman family as they grieve over the loss of their youngest daughter. The story is here. Please watch this. It is such a good reminder of the small moments that are so important. Here is the song that is based upon the experience he talks about.

Choose carefully

A week or so ago at the Bible Study my extended family and a few friends are in on 1 John we got on the topic of how Satan tempts us. My Father in law referenced The Screwtape Letters and said that the evil ones tactics center on posing questions to us suggestions that something is right and true–when in reality it is a lie. His native language. Suggesting an idea that leads to despair. The concept struck a chord with me. I looked back over my life and realized all of the crucial moments I have been faced with to believe one of two things. Often a heated crossroad where a decision was to be made: what to believe, what to act on, what to base my life on, who I would ultimately become. Before I came to know Christ personally I did accept some of the concepts suggested to me and I can tell you quite clearly that I remember several of those moments of decision on who to believe. At the time I didn’t realize that I was making a choice between Truth and lies, death and Life. Irregardless, I was. One vivid example burned on my mind and body, scars that speak clearly now was the temptation that reared around late Junior high to believe the world’s mantra/evil ones bait. It was a path that lead to years of disordered eating. I chose to believe a lie that brought death to areas of my life. I was deceived. I believed I had to change/mal-nourish myself to be beautiful enough so that people would like me. I believed I had to change my personality in order to be liked–another lie I tried to “be” what I thought others wanted only to find out the loneliness and emptiness of that road. I had been wounded by lack of peer acceptance and rather than remedy that with realizing peers are fickle and true friends aren’t I decided I would take things in my own hands. The decision to fear man rather than God cost me years of health and joy, wasted by lies that said “control/lose weight and you will be liked by everyone.”

I look back and see that God used the sin/selfishness of my eating disorder to open my eyes somewhere around my 18th birthday when I started asking myself “Do I know Christ personally–why am I living in this awful way? I am so sick and tired of this emptiness and sin/selfishness.” God’s Spirit had begun convicting me late in high school and while I was attending a local community college to show me that I was a sinner. Despite having growing up in a Christian home, knowing all the Sunday school answers, taking communion at church, being baptized, doing lots of “good works”, attending Bible Studies etc. I didn’t have a personal relationship with the One I talked about. It was a scary realization. That I had been basing my salvation on who I was and what I said not on knowing Christ. I asked myself “what is knowing Christ?” I struggled with the question for months. It wasn’t easy getting answers. I read, prayed, cried and was frankly quite scared. I realized through the process how proud and self righteous I had been before and how unworthy I was of God’s love and kindness. I just kept thinking why on earth would God save me–someone who has known all these things intellectually for so long and yet not engaged them truly? I had my chance why would God look at me. Now I see that is another one of the evil ones lies. It was a slow process for me it wasn’t until my 19th birthday that God began giving an amazing assurance that I belonged to Him. Nothing on earth compared to that joy He gave during those early days realizing His great love for me! The assurance and dawning came through reading God’s Word as well as some excellent, yet little known dusty books in our church library on salvation and the Gospel by Puritan authors such as Thomas Boston, Jonathan Edwards, and Spurgeon. Spurgeon is one I especially appreciated as he emphasized that Christ came for the unworthy and those who know they need him. That is the grounds basis of salvation-know your need and cry out for Christ to have mercy. Believe in Christ’s goodness and the beauty of the way of salvation and you belong to Him. The realization was amazing. It was a transformation from death to life.

The lies I had believed slowly over the years came crashing down one by one. It has been and still is a journey of healing walking with Christ. Following Him–having him lovingly come after me after when I have wandered. College was filled with lessons on who am I listening to. The voice of Truth or the enemy of my soul? I came to recognize the voice of my Guide. His voice was a peacemaker in the face of strife, a voice of forgiveness in the face of anger, a voice of love in the face of hatred, a voice of gentleness in spite of pain. There were those opportunities to make crucial decisions about relationships; whether to cut of in pain or to continue in hope of God’s reconciliation. The voice of God shone through clear: love covers a multitude of sins, while the voice of Satan said: cut of this relationship, hold onto the bitterness because is too painful to continue. God taught me through those years to follow Christ’s example and replace anger with concern for a person. A choice to channel pain towards heaven in healing prayers instead of burning yourself with the flame of bitterness. Again I was faced with a difficult working situation the year after I graduated from college. I was faced again with the choice of hatred or love. It was a daily choice. To rely on God. Daily I was faced with my inability to do it myself. Over and over again. Confessing my anger, hurt, confusion and giving it to God–knowing He alone can impart the Spirit of Truth who heals and changes us. One thing that really helped me was to try to see things from another person’s perspective and not take things in the worst possible way. I find Satan often tempts me to look only from my perspective/hurt feelings etc. and not look on things the way Love calls us to with the best possible intention possible. Something happens when we start to look at things in the best possible light. When we begin to pity those who hurt us. When we begin to realize the pain in the life of the person who is inflicting pain. The darkness that resides there. I have been in darkness before and I know what it is like. It is horrible. It is death. Once we see people who hurt us with pity and concern instead of only looking out for our own interests and pain but actually deflecting our pain by praying for them.

I still have to journey on with struggles over whose voice I believe day to day but I can say with certainty that hope and joy comes from believing TRUTH, from acting on Light, from living in Love and from dying to self. God help us. We need Your eyes, Your compassion.

 

“The whole art of spirituality is that my human nature should retire and let the new disposition have its way. We are told to follow His steps, but we can’t do it; the heredity in us is not the same as it is in Jesus. Anyone who reads the Sermon on the Mount with his eyes open knows that something must happen if it is going to be lived out in him, for he has not the goods on board to produce the result. There is only one Being who can live the Sermon on the Mount and that is the Son of God. If I will walk in the light as God is in the light, then the holy nature of Jesus manifests itself in me.”

Oswald Chambers

Waterproof mascara

This morning I woke up with really swollen eyes. I was a bit emotional yesterday evening. It started when Andrew came home. He could tell something was bothering me. It had crept up on me that day. Little thing upon little thing until he came home. He quietly went about his usual routine when he arrived yet after a bit paused feeling the emotional tension and asked if he could give me a back massage tonight. Knowing that always makes me feel better. That is when of course, realizing he sensed I wasn’t doing well, I broke down and started crying. He asked–he has learned by experience how to handle these situations–if I wanted to talk about it and I said “No, it didn’t make sense. It was just a whole bunch of small things on top of other small things.” I was feeling very overwhelmed and hormonal. I tried to hide my tears but that doesn’t work when you are about to sit down to dinner with someone. But his long hug made me feel so much better. It was at that point that I was so thankful I had switched to water proof mascara as I had my head mashed into his shirt. Tip of the day for all who are expecting buy waterproof or don’t wear it. I felt better until bedtime when after over an hour of saying are we going to bed yet? We finally head to bed. Andrew immediately turns over in an attempt to drift into a blissful sleep and forget the frustration of the computer problem he was trying to fix that evening. I immediately notice this and know that I cannot fall asleep until we have some talk and process time and ask if we can talk–quickly before he really does fall asleep-Andrew graciously says OK–I suddenly lose my sleepiness as I begin to share things about issues from childhood and beyond and start crying a lot. Andrew listens and is supportive and I finally drift of to sleep around 12 and wake up with really puffy eyes, although emotionally feeling a lot better. It amazes me though how before I was pregnant I could talk about sad, hard and emotional things and not cry and now it is nearly impossible. I feel like there are peaks to the emotional outbursts. I sometimes wonder why these spells prepare one for motherhood. I just feel a bit out of control and childish in a way. Crying like I did when I was young. Maybe it helps a mother have more compassion for her children when they are upset. It brings back memories of becoming an adolescent all the hormone swings involved. Not easy. Change isn’t ever easy. Saying last good byes to things so familiar. Early on in the pregnancy I found the emotional changes harder than the physical. I think motherhood will be like that too although I won’t know till October. They say labor is a piece of cake compared to the next 20 years. What an adventure.

BTW made these muffins yesterday. I made ours with spelt flour and raw sugar and they turned out really good!

I read these verses today and just had to post them:

1 Peter 1:3-13

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge,and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.